And I also now have only 4 hours sleep deprivation, good few days with 10 hours of sleep :))
Sleepy afternoons w my sis. Looked too cozy not to capture haha // My fav home detail!
Getting temperature out of nowhere. I didn't even felt sick (as much as I remember) and it all went away next day. Still have no clue what was that. // Metalic nails
Clothes shopping // Celebrating my bff's bday w tequila shots...
...and once again getting home by foot in the morning. I have no clue why we always do that. // And also snacking after getting home. It was maybe 4am, I was really hungry...
Dinner time. Pizza w eggplant, rucola lettuce and spinach. Was actually kinda nice. // Cuuute postcard, which says 'I love from head to toes".
Flowers shopping and bouquet we have chosen.
Late evening photoshoot in forest // My grandma's chose for autumn! I'm actually jealous, those colors looked great on me as well haha
Autumn colors // Celebrating Halloween watching Halloween episode of Friends.
Time heals all wounds. And if it doesn't, you name them something other than wounds and agree to let them stay.— Emma Forrest, Your Voice in My Head
I was meaning to write this post couple weeks ago. I was going through some tough time and writing was the best medicine (well, it always was). But I got really really busy (which probably helped to cope as well) and couldn't finish this post. So here are messy post containing beginning I wrote still being heartbroken and the end, written today.
I remember this Lithuanian blogger and her fashion blog - she was so happy, in a relationship w a guy she loves, having amazing taste in clothes, famous blog and everything, when one day she blogged something about her blog closing, cause her boyfriend left. Back in that day I found it way too weird and not reasonable and after all this time I'm finding myself in her shoes. Trying to decide whether click on that "delete blog" button or not and suddenly realizing - no person should stop me from doing something I like. No person can take anything from me.
I'm that person who never needed love or any other feeling to feel full. To feel happy, to feel fulfilled. I was completely fine being by myself. And I still am. Some moments just were meant to be shared with somebody else. I don't regret anything, it took me some time, but now I can honestly say, the time I shared with him, even though he left, was one of the best I had in my entire life. But sometimes you just get little too carried away. Sometimes you get too attached. Or blind.
Couple weeks ago I started new chapter of my own book - my life. I closed last one and I'm not planning to re-read it again. But I learned, dear god, I learned so much.
- Let go of the wrong people. Anyone who makes you feel bad about yourself. Anyone who doesn't make you smile. Anyone who makes you wonder why you. I found myself crying over argument, which probably meant nothing to him, while for me it meant the world. And I still swallowed my tears and went on. But thanks to some spirit from somewhere it was first and the last time I let it go.
- Just do it. Not because Shia Labeouf, or if you wanna, because of him. It doesn't matter. Just do it. We overthink too much, way too much. What do we have to lose? I used to choose safe side, always, just because I was too afraid and I'd rather stay safe than try. And it was okay. It was completely fine to stay on the safe side. Until I realized I'm wasting my life and definitely not living it. Now before every single thing I want to do, but am too afraid to, I ask myself - "what do I have to lose?". Some things I was too afraid to try, happened to be the best things that have happened in my life.
- Be positive. This is actually weird thing. I used to say that I'm the most pessimistic person in the world. Everything used to be bad for me, I would never see good in anything. I don't know what changed. Past few years I was in really bad place and couldn't see the light, but now all I hear is how positive I seem and how people feel better after talking to me (one of my friends said that he wants to see me just because after meetings he feels good energy). I'm not sure if my life changed, not really, but I feel like my mindset, my point of view did. I'm trying to surround myself with good people, not only happy ones, but those who makes me happy. Those who make me a better person. I feel like it's the easiest to be surrounded by happy people, but what's the best is to be surrounded by sad people and try to make them happy. And grow by helping others.
- What is meant to happen - will happen. Maybe today. Or maybe five years later. Today I watched Lauren Curtis video about relationships and that got really into me is how she said, that breakups happen for a reason and if people meant to be together they would have. I think that everything happens for a reason and what is meant to happen - it will. Too bad not always we find or realize what that reason is, but it still is.
- Don't blame yourself. Well, if it's not your fault. I'm that kind of person who used to think, that everything happens because of me. I try to find that's wrong w me, what did I do etc etc. Until I realized it's not only me. Relationships are two persons work.
- It's okay to feel. All feelings the same time as well. I wondered why I feel angry, I wondered why I feel sad while realizing it all was for the best, but then realized that I needed to feel that. He meant something for me and if I hadn't felt what I felt it would have meant I lied to him and to myself all the time we were together. You need to feel angry, sad, desperate, all bad feelings and then let go.
- Change. I used to talk and talk how I want to dye my hair, but I just didn't have guts. I'm not sure, but I guess week after break up I realized - I need to change. I didn't want it anymore, I needed it. And I arranged appointment and I dyed my hair. Small changes, but something which lead me to this new life, new better chapter.
Have a great day,
This post should have been online weeks ago and only now I found 10 minutes (yup, I'm watching basketball right now) to write it. So sorry for messiness and me being so busy, here are couple of things I've bought :)
super slim light blue jeans // bershka
high waist dark blue jeans // bershka
shorts // promod
dress // promod
shirt // new yorker
l'oreal elvital total repair 5 CICA cream for hair // drogas
dove oxygen moisture root lift spray // drogas
delia cameleo multifunctional hair conditioner // eurokos
toni&guy nourish conditioner // asos
patisserie de bain strawberry cupcake lip balm // asos
catrice lipstic (color 040 pretty little valentine) // drogas
essence eyebrow stylist set // drogas
rimmel kate salon pro nail polish (color 134 moon) // drogas
nailsystem nail polish (color 370) // drogas
nip+fab glycolic fix daily cleansing pads // asos
^here's how lip balm looks on my lips, it has light pink color and kinda greasy texture, but after few moments it gets into lips and feels okay :)
^here's color of lipstick, nude pink w hint of glitter :)
Just like last year (in case you missed, click here) this year I decided to make this sum up post about this summer. I feel like there was no summer, it flew so fast! Oh well :/ So here are my tiny overview:
My favorite new trends were chunky sandals and backpacks. I feel like both of them are something I used to wear in my childhood which makes me nostalgic and maybe that's why I liked it so much haha. And also I'm bringing backpacks to autumn as well, I just like it too much, too comfy.
Cosmetic discovery. When talking about beauty this summer, I would say all things matte - lips and nails. My discovery probably was matte lipsticks or dark matte lipsticks, both of them I was loving more than I ever imagined!
My favorite nail colors were probably all shades of pink and matte as well. I'm still trying to enjoy it, while it's not winter time and not suitable.
My favorite new artists (at least newly found) were Halsey and Melanie Martinez. Even though I was kinda disappointed in Halsey's new album, but maybe it's because I've already heard half of songs (and liked it) and new ones weren't so good.. But, I recommend to listen both, Halsey's and Melanie's new albums!
While taking about albums, my fav probably was Communion by Years and Years.
My favorite memory. While remembering this summer I used to talk how bad it was, how I didn't get time to enjoy it and blah blah blah. While thinking about my favorite memory, I realized, that despite all the bad things, it wasn't so bad after all. I've met few amazing people, even though not all are still in my life, but I still remember times I didn't sleep til 5 am talking to them and enjoying it. I remember siting in car and talking til midnight about life and how you forget about all wrong things. I remember playing table football (how is it called?) for the first time w some unknown guys at the bar w my friend and how fun it was. I remember seeing my cousin and her little baby girl after maybe 13 years not seeing each other. I remember spending evenings near river, talking about life w my friends. I remember spending so much time outside w friends and only getting home to sleep. And tons of other moments, which didn't make this summer so bad.
My least favorite memory. Spending days in hospitals, visiting doctors and all the bad things which has something to do w health. This summer, I realized that there are two most important things in my life - health and my family. Other people come and go, there's no way of keeping them if they don't want to stay and it's completely okay, another lesson I've learned is that after one left, another comes and even better than you could have ever imagined. No failed exams actually matter as long as you healthy enough to try again and you should try until you don't have to anymore. And also - don't forget to believe in yourself. Believe in the best version of you.
Things I'm looking forward to autumn ♥
While talking with my friend how terrible this summer was I promised him - this autumn gonna be the best. Not sure if it's true, but as long as I believe it is - it will be. I'm looking forward wearing black and burgundy, dark lipsticks and nail polishes, my tv shows coming back, learning new things and trees changing colors :)